Sunday, June 14, 2009

I've been wondering...

780 times a day, i wondered whether i'm capable of this line of career. design. 320 days a year i wondered whether my communication skill is good enough for the society. i've always had this thought in my mind. is my skill good enough to survive when i'm on my own? or can i write to live? is my writing good enough to be an author?

as long as i know, my mind has never stopped imagining stories. pictures of each stories that came in my mind were oh-so-vivid, i can even write it out and tell everyone i know about it. but sometimes, it just isn't enough. i want more people to know, i want others to know what's on my mind recently. i want to share my thoughts to people i can trust. however, they weren't many people who understand me. they don't get what's on my mind.. even when i tell them face-to-face and even made gestures and all. it made me somehow,... wondered.... do i really belong here? why can't people understand me? i don't ask or wish for more than one person on earth whom i can share my thoughts with. am i asking too much?

i've been thinking about the hottest question people's been asking me. "don't you wanna move out and live alone?". that's the question... at first, i thought that moving and living alone was way too costly and dangerous in a way, cause' you'll never know what your housemate will be. not to say that i'm discriminating strangers or.. what so ever.. however, after i'd given in a real thought on it. living alone doesn't sound so bad. i could meet more people, and maybe i can find someone out there who can actually sincerely listens and share their thoughts and stories with me. this kind of lifestyle isn't all that bad. that's all just what i thought for now. i'll be graduating in a year and a half. it's still a long way to go before that kind of thing can happen.

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