Should I Start Charging Fees?

Really... I really can't understand why people asked me to teach them things like computers, science, maths and all.. when they don't even pay attention to my explaination. It's not like I don't want to teach them things. Verbal teaching = checked! Written teaching = checked! Demonstration teaching = checked! How on earth can they still not know the basics?! They are the ones who aren't listening to the lecture. Plus I don't get paid for helping or teaching them. Is it because it's free that they don't put their heart into learning?

Why would they want to do that? They do not get any benefit from not listening. They don't learn things from just sitting beside me with their face turned the other way. I am a human too. I get tired of repeating same shit every single day for a thousand times. Plus the things I repeat are mostly just basic knowledge which I learnt from primary school... and that is like 10 years ago....

Should I start charging fees for these lessons? How much should I charge if the student is a relative? Really... They are giving me a hard time.. and i have to spend half a day to teach them same shit everyday when i actually have tons of assignments and things to do.

Not a bad death day

i never really thought that i'll live up to this year's birthday. seems like my last birthday and christmas wish did not come true. it really is not a bad idea to die on the same day i'm born. i really wish god.. or anything, can grant me this wish. anyone wanna kill me? will i have an incurable disease tomorrow? or even today.. i'd love to die, any way is fine for me as long as my life ends soon. Hopefully today. i really wish i'd be crush by a lorry or something.

too much feeling of anger, disappointment and sadness bottled up in me. why are my parents allowed to release their anger by telling and this and that to everybody around them? why am i not allowed to do so? whenever i tried to tell them my problems and all, no one ever EVER! seems to want to hear me out. am i such a bother?

i hate my dad. i hate everyone around me! or rather.... i hate myself.. i wish i don't even exist.

Kim Hee-Chul~!

Saw a PV of Super Junior - U and Sorry Sorry today when I was jumping from channel to channel and I saw Hee Chul, the long haired guy in both videos. I was like "My God! How on earth does his hair look so beautiful!?" His hair ish so shiny and I like his dancing. Some people said he looks like a girl and tries hard to stay that way. But I think it's unique. I mean, the band is like conquered with guys with short hair and styles like the Taiwanese or Japanese (neck/shoulder length hair). Honestly, I think Chinese with these kind of hairstyle never look good. (no offence yo) He has longer hair which made him stands out in the video! 

Kim Hee Chul

When I was small, I kept my hair short and people from strangers to close friends and relatives thinks that I look like a boy and kept criticizing. But what I think is, an individual's hair, whatever style is it. Is purely up to the individual, him/herself! We keep our hair the way we love and most comfortable with, what other aliens said shouldn't bother our style. This is what I learnt after I entered college. I used to be so conscious of my looks when I was in primary and high school that I actually lose sight of what's true and what not. It's just like TLC - Unpretty.

Astro Contest!? You gotta be kidding!!!! *dies*

While I was dreaming in the afternoon, I got an annoying call from my college. Asking me to join a design contest. I like designing and drawing but I don't have the time to 'enjoy' the contest, it really is an annoying request from the lecturer. LOL. The caller's name is Katie.

Me: Hello (sounded sore as I had sore throat)
Katie: Hi, Somerset. Just so to let you know, you were asked by the lecturer to enter the Astro Contest. You have to submit the registration form by Monday morning before class starts.
Me: *shocked and completely awake then laugh unbelievably* Is it compulsory to enter?
Katie: Yes. Sorry to say it is compulsory.

After awhile, I logon to the Astro site but I couldn't find the registration form. So I plan to tell her I don't see any form in the site. Hope this no-form-strategy works.

Addicted to The All American Rejects - Gives You Hell

Katie/Lecturer really gives me hell

Hiragana & Katakana

Mwahahaha! i'm finally learning hiragana and katakana myself! yay! few days ago, i went on 4shared.com to look for songs and all, but then i stumbled upon japanese language learning material! i'm swooo~ happy!! i even printed everything out and turned it into a book! *kiss the book* oh god, please bestow me the power to learn all the hiragana and katakana fast! i wanna move on to kanji next!

The first exercise sheet i did few days back. 

sorry for the bad handwriting ^_^. gosh, i'm so excited!

Am I an English-dumb?

i went shopping today and when i was browsing some books, i saw a book cover saying - writed by XXX. i think it should be writen by. am i wrong?

during my class, i saw many people wrote 'founded'. should it be 'founded'? ain't 'found' alone, already meant it's a past-tense? am i wrong? seriously.... people thinks that my english is weird.... am i weird?

can someone please tell me... am i an English-dumb?

I've been wondering...

780 times a day, i wondered whether i'm capable of this line of career. design. 320 days a year i wondered whether my communication skill is good enough for the society. i've always had this thought in my mind. is my skill good enough to survive when i'm on my own? or can i write to live? is my writing good enough to be an author?

as long as i know, my mind has never stopped imagining stories. pictures of each stories that came in my mind were oh-so-vivid, i can even write it out and tell everyone i know about it. but sometimes, it just isn't enough. i want more people to know, i want others to know what's on my mind recently. i want to share my thoughts to people i can trust. however, they weren't many people who understand me. they don't get what's on my mind.. even when i tell them face-to-face and even made gestures and all. it made me somehow,... wondered.... do i really belong here? why can't people understand me? i don't ask or wish for more than one person on earth whom i can share my thoughts with. am i asking too much?

i've been thinking about the hottest question people's been asking me. "don't you wanna move out and live alone?". that's the question... at first, i thought that moving and living alone was way too costly and dangerous in a way, cause' you'll never know what your housemate will be. not to say that i'm discriminating strangers or.. what so ever.. however, after i'd given in a real thought on it. living alone doesn't sound so bad. i could meet more people, and maybe i can find someone out there who can actually sincerely listens and share their thoughts and stories with me. this kind of lifestyle isn't all that bad. that's all just what i thought for now. i'll be graduating in a year and a half. it's still a long way to go before that kind of thing can happen.

Mind-crushing projects

i was planning to finish 1 of my project today (Research Methodology), so i got books and various information from e-libraries. at first scan, all the information i found seems useful, but when i really read into it.... useless craps was all over the article =.= i tried to look for more information and it took not longer than an hour that i had a major headache. i think my fever is getting to me again... honestly, why is it so hard for me to recover? i'm been coughing nonstop today. feels like my throat's gonna burst anytime soon. my group members for another project were just bystanders, they leave things. so eventually i had to do things myself (i wanna get good grades!!! darn it!)

i'm currently learning japanese on my own, due to financial problem i couldn't go for japanese classes. it's really fun to learn languages, even without teachers, i'd still work hard to learn as much as i can by myself. Nothing Is Impossible! *Mwahahahaha* *cough cough*

i've been delaying my artworks for deviantart. been really sick these past few days. today was better, but still... anyway, i finally got my Corel Painter IX. explored the brushes and colors 2 days ago, it's alot better than Adobe Photoshop. i mean in terms of color and brushes styles. gosh, i really need more than 24 hours a day! i mean, how am i going to do sooooooo many things in a day or two?! i wanna finish my story(but it's still stuck in chapter 1, as i'm darn busy nowadays with college and part-time), i wanna put up more artworks in deviantart, i wanna get more home part-time job, i wanna learn japanese/kanji, finish my assignments as soon as possible (i hate piles of homeworks on my table, i'd rather see mountains of cakes on it), i wanna quickly learn and get used to using my Bamboo Fun.... it's like so many unfinished business here...

and what's more, i'm working on a solo project (it wasn't for college or work), for my portfolio and my interest! i'm making a short animation. i won't be telling the title just yet cause' i'm currently at the stage of designing my characters and plot. and yeah, i think i need to do more research to make it better ^^ just... i really hope i can release something by.... like... around a month or two from now.

anyway! please look forward for more updates on my artworks and my slow-progress chapter 1 (it's sad to know the fact i'm still in chapter 1... when i can actually write something out in class for less than 30 minutes... be it, work or stories... kill me if i take more than half a year to write chapter 1... it's too saddening to know the fact. care to lend me your shoulder? *sobs*)

i heard The Sims 3 is out! Yoohoo!! i really want to play! BUT! i don't have the time *sobs* oh ms and mr lecturer! Have Mercy on the Poor me~! hope to get well soon!

Addicted to Legends...

I'm addicted to Native American's Legends. i read "Strong Wind" in Jodi Picoult's Picture Perfect, though its on few pages long, its really entertaining. since then, i started looking for more Native American Legends and i've found "The Last Of The Mohicans" by J. Fenimore Cooper. i just bought it today. i realized that the author's name and my uncle's dog's name are the same... Cooper, a boxer... the dog "Cooper" is a really lazy dog. it seems to me like he needs 100 people to help push him around instead of walking by itself. i really love dogs. love Husky! they're cuddly and cool. i never like skinny dogs with ultra thin legs, such as Chihuahua. their voice especially... are annoying. they don't bark, they squeak. it's deafening.

Anyway, i'm currently addicted to Miyano Mamoru's "BE". it's a really lovely song. i like his voice alot. it's so sweet.

Gambatte!!

finally some progression with my story and another artwork is done. think i'm getting use to my Bamboo Fun. really hope i can get used to it that i can draw something straight in my computer with the stylus. some people said it takes them 5-6 years to really really get used to it and draw perfectly *sobs* i'll be so old~ after 5 years! i can't wait! so... i came up with a solution to draw everyday or CG everyday. Must double my hardwork! (till i puke blood! *laughs*) of course, without neglecting my assignments and projects.. i would hate it, if i got a C or worst for my result... i'm aiming for a scholarship for my degree! so getting an A is a MUST!!! B is acceptable too but not C! God bless me with the ability to get used to my Bamboo Fun real~ soon, kay?

Is it Luck or Coincidence?

it's funny how i realize that i had such luck or "coincidence". Luck-wise, i lost my voice, i'm stuck with a subject i don't like, hazy weather and my fever got worst. Coincidentally, after i lost my voice, people started calling me that it felt more like spamming and they asked for help with their studies... they don't even bother to take a second look at me at college. such sad facts.

i had a really hard time talking to everyone today and i've been straining my voice like mad. gosh, i wished they would e-mail me instead. my voice is inaudible and i kept coughing and vomiting after i had my meals.

feels very dizzy... going to bed now.... nights!

Artistically Sick (?)

I've been sick for three days. today's the worst though, but what i did the entire day was drawing drawing and drawing. seems like ideas came rushing in my veins when i'm sick. suddenly i got so many ideas, i don't even know which to start.

my sore throat kills my voice. i've been silent since last night. great, all i can do is write messages on a piece of junkie paper and show it to everyone to convey what's in my mind. all i had today was porridge *sobs* help me~~~ i really need more sweet food! Cakes!!

i missed two classes today, hopefully i'm not left far far far~~ behind. gosh, i really need to get well soon. there are like so many things i have to do, my numerous assignments and projects, my part-time job, arts for deviantart, testing out new stuff in photoshop, more part-time job hunting, writing novels, study, research.... i'll be dead before i manage to finish all these... be grateful i'm still alive now.

the weather here is starting to be hazy.. why do indonesia love burning forests? its like this kind of weather happen every year around may to august or september. come on.. we, humans live with clean oxygen! not carbon dioxide or monoxide! i hate hazy weather + super duper hot season. i get sick easily with these. God oh God, bless the earth. Amen.

Buy Original, Use Original !!

trust me... Buy Original, Use Original!! not that i really mean expensive original designers shoes and all, i know not everyone can afford expensive branded ones... this is just what i think and i'm talking mostly about shoes (high heels, flats, wedges and even sports shoes!!!) Why? as the economy falls lower and lower, the shoes company (not only shoes, to be practical) tends to reduce their materials used for their production. with the reduction of those small things (to them), the shoes quality decreases and you'll experience something like what i experienced many times before. trust me... you wouldn't want something as embarassing as what i'll tell y'all after this...

i wore my new shoes today, which my aunt bought for me 'cause it's cheap. they doesn't have a famous brand on it, but i thought it look kinda nice and trendy. i wore it and went to college at 8.30a.m. and i had class from 9-11a.m, which means i sat in class most of the time.. and the duration i wore the shoes was not more than 5 hours. when i walked to the faculty office to get my results, my shoes' sole came off. =.= *sweats* it happened when i was on the 2nd floor, which requires me to walk a stairs down to go home. but as everyone knows, it'll be embarassing to walk around with a shoe which had their soles came off like peeled bananas. in this kind of situation, what would you do?

tell me what would you do in my comment, and i'll tell what i did after that. ^^


A piece of advice to everyone! about shoes (just my 2cents, i might be wrong though)

1. never buy shoes that are too cheap, they may be rejected products (please don't repeat the same mistake my aunt did)
2. beware of pirated brands - when you want to get a branded shoes for example, Puma, be alert about the logo they print on it. they may be a little different from the original. i'm telling this because if you get a pirated ones, you wouldn't be happy with the shoes after a few weeks or maybe a few days. it breaks easily. they are just "fragile"
3. when you buy sandals, do take note of the sole of the sandals and the print of the sole. some may be too smooth, that you'll easily fall down in smooth or slippery grounds.
   

Bamboo Fun... Does it better!!

7 years of waiting for my lovely precious Bamboo Fun, and I finally got 1 today. Though its kinda expensive compared to the last time I checked the price, I guess it's still worth it. I get to produce better artworks and am able to work a lot faster than before. Before I bought it, it took me at least 2 hours to render a picture. Now, it seems like I can get my work done in less than an hour. I reeealllyyyy wish I could spend the whole day working on the tablet but that can't do. Spending too much time in front of the computer kills my eyes and head. Check out my deviantart... http://viankay.deviantart.com... There's nothing much in there, but I'll be uploading my artworks soon! So! Keep updated!!

Twilight is an OK-OK movie. The book is much...much better. The main actor, Edward Cullen (Rob Pattinson), doesn't look like anything described in the book. It's kinda disappointing, and I was really looking forward to the show before. In the movie, Jasper and Carlisle are much more handsome than the main actor. *looks around, whisper* Doesn't vampires supposed to be handsome? I mean, come on... Why choose a weird looking guy for the main role?

Currently obsessed with Utada Hikaru's "This is the One" album...Seriously, she's talented. I love her voice and the lyrics for this album. Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence FYI and Apple and Cinnamon are my favorites!